Wednesday, November 6, 2024
When we investigate a complaint and find that a member has caused distress or inconvenience, our decision will include recommendations on what the member needs to do to put things right.
Often, this includes a recommendation for the member to make a ‘meaningful’ apology. This guide helps you understand the best way of doing this.
An apology is an expression of responsibility and regret for an action that has caused harm or inconvenience. A meaningful apology goes beyond the words - it's about how you convey it. The goal is for the recipient to feel acknowledged, accept the apology, and move forward.
A ‘meaningful’ apology is an interactive exchange, where it is not only what we say but how we say it that is important. What we want to achieve is for the person receiving an apology to accept it, forgive the person responsible and help everyone to move on.
• People may have different expectations from an apology, which could include: Acknowledgement that something wrong has occurred
• Validation that they were right in raising the issue
• an understanding of why or where things went wrong
• an acceptance of responsibility
• Assurance that the problem has been addressed and will not happen again
• Repairing a damaged relationship
• the restoration of their reputation
We all know and understand that not everyone finds it easy to apologise.
However, a meaningful apology is often:
· the first step to repairing a damaged relationship
· the best way to restore dignity and trust
· a way of showing remorse where there has been a lapse in service or conduct
It is impossible to construct a meaningful apology without understanding:
· what went wrong and how it has impacted the person making the complaint
· what they are seeking in terms of resolution
Experts consider that a meaningful apology contains several essential element and while including all these elements may not guarantee success, without them an apology is more likely to be unsuccessful.
The importance and necessity of each element will vary depending on the nature of the complaint, and the overall apology should be proportionate to the distress or inconvenience caused.
Whether or not it was intentional, an apology must describe the distressing action or behaviour correctly
The description must be specific to show that you also understand the impact of the act or omission
Identify who was responsible and accept accountability for the harm caused.
Offer a clear, non-defensive explanation of why the issue occurred, avoiding any implication that it was personal or intentional.
This shows that you recognise the impact of your actions and that you are sincere with your apology. It can be difficult to communicate this well in writing, so consider the nature of what you are apologising for and the impact before deciding if this should be made in person.
Outline the steps being taken to prevent the issue from recurring, offering reassurance that corrective action has been taken.
You may need to ask the person making the complaint what they want and involve them in deciding the style and content of the meaningful apology. Remember that every complaint is unique to that person and each apology needs to be written for the individual, which should:
• be owned, active and unconditional (i.e. ‘it was my fault’ rather than ‘if mistakes were made’)
• use plain, simple and direct language which sounds natural and sincere
• not question whether the aggrieved has been harmed (i.e. ‘If you were offended’) or
minimise the offence (i.e. ‘no-one else has complained’)
• be clear and express the apology to the right person(s)
• understand that the timing of an apology can be crucial. Making an apology as soon as possible after realising you have done wrong offers the best chance of success. A delayed apology may be an opportunity lost
Where possible, the person responsible for the issue should be allowed and supported to apologise directly. If the apology must be delivered by a third party, it should come from someone senior – ideally, the person most accountable to the complainant.
